I Wish

I wish we could begin life knowing all the things we learn along the way.

Motherhood.

There are so many lessons to be learned.

The momma in this photo has everything she ever dreamed about.

So much love surrounds her. 

Her children need her. She is their world. 

Why can’t I see life for what it is when I’m right in the middle of it?

I’ve missed seeing the goodness in so many of my days.

I get so impatient with these sweet children.

It seems that at some point, almost every day, I am frustrated and irritable with them.

Most of the time, I justifiably have a reason.

In my mind, I could explain how one of them deserved the harshness I dished out.

But, the truth is, they didn’t.

I’m so tired of thinking about things I should not have said before falling asleep at night.

I know in my heart that in just a short while they will be independent.

They wont need me like they do now.

I will wish I had every single moment back to re-do.

Having a third child has definitely stretched me to my limit, maybe even pushed me over the edge.

I am physically and emotionally exhausted every single day.

I feel like every ounce of strength has been squeezed from my body.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder who in the world I’m looking at.

That is why I need God.

This is just another challenge that I need Him to guide me through.

He will show me the way.

He will renew my strength.

In every way, I am truly the happiest I have ever been.

I love these babies with every breath.

But, that doesn’t mean it’s not hard.

My prayer tonight is that God helps me see my every moment for what it truly is.

I pray that He helps me know the right way to handle myself in every situation.

I want to be proud of all the words I’ve spoken to my children and all my actions towards them.

I need Him to help me change now before what I’ve learned is too late to be useful.

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